It was not about protection but about Being and how I defined that.
It was only when I got into, at the time, the emerging field of Consciousness Technologies did my story of pain and death pattern start to change. I became aware of the duality in my language dance of light/dark, good/evil, positive/negative that I was engaged in and what a trap in thinking it was creating. Only then did change happened.
I came to realize with the help of some leading edge thinkers that I had created this world I was living in and was quite successful in that creation. I was able to access myself as Consciousness and view the states of reality that I was participating in from the bigger perspective as Consciousness. Consciousness, a word free of our limiting definitions of God.
If I had continued on my old path of thinking I would be dead now. So I had strong motivation to do something different, to be different in how I perceived my place in the world, and what I had created. I learned how to engage myself differently and change the dynamics at play into something else. Potential was engaged and shifts started to be noticed. My take on Life and what that means as Human as the interface of Consciousness is now an active ever unfolding state, a work of art.
I bring this up as example and context. I am seeing more people in group and clients who are also very gifted in their intuitive gifts and they too bring them no joy. My awareness is that for many those gifts come out of our pain and trauma. So when we engage them they are coming out of that framework. It colors what is noticed and shared with a film that dilutes or can negate the gift keeping it as wound.
In this current wonderful time of upheaval that Consciousness finds itself in we can reframe our position into more neutral framework. We also can look again at this relationship we find ourselves to be holding as spirit as human in spirit.
Unfortunately our media and collective thinking has created being intuitive and powerful in mostly negative terms. Doomsday looms on many fronts according to our pop culture and fears. Look at all the superheros permeating our culture. They may use their gifts for good but at what cost? Destruction ensues. And we are supposed to feel okay about it? Validated and vindicated. Yikes!!
Look at all the fiction and nonfiction about being intuitive and how it is framed in evil, violence and bloodshed that we create and watch and witness as entertainment. Really? To know is as hell on the individual viewer as it is on the victim.
Whether it is romance, mystery or sci fi we embrace warrior mentality. Light hearted, feel good witches and magicians are few. The right and just against the wrong and unfairness in the world. Opposites keeping us fixed. We most often don't hear the negative framework our modern interpretations of our old stories of earth magic and shaman/alchemists are filled with about life and destruction and control and power. Which are really neutral forces at play open to interpretation. The Bible, for instance was not written agenda free. It is a control tool.
I don't embrace this anymore. My wounds have become the gifts that Consciousness imbues and infuses my humanness. It powers my compassion and understanding that we are not points of opposition only many in the blend of All. That if I continued to play that game of suffering I have only so many choices available to me. I am either right or wrong. They are either right or wrong. We are both so it is time to get over it and embrace the irreconcilable as nothing more than one position to take.
Access Heart Centered Awareness and embrace the neutral sacred space that is filled with compassion and Grace. Gently let go of your stories of victims and abusers. Don't judge the darkness you find. Embrace it as only a different light value and allows for different experiences. Get over your attachments to it being only negative. Any good artist will appreciate the tonal qualities of available light.
Let your gifts shine, free of the muck and mire of the past. Enjoy.
Life in the Beyond/Journeys Into Enlightenment