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Monday, November 23, 2015

Fuzzy Photons Dancing / She was just 17

Kookie 1998-2015
Well, she was just 17
You know what I mean
And the way she looked was way beyond compare
So how could I dance with another (Ooh)
When I saw her standing there

The Beatles

My cat Kookie let me know that it was time to put her to rest last week. We had many agreements together and that was one of them. And, for the entire three hour wait we had in the emergency clinic she acted no different that she had the last seventeen years. She paced, she continuously yowled her conversation, she wanted out of the exam room. She sat and laid on the floor and didn't ask for comfort or solace. She was as independent, edgy and sassy and just followed her heart.

She loves me. I love her. 

 My ego would have enjoyed holding her for longer than a moment but she was uncomfortable with the reality when Tom had to do so for a half hour. She never wanted to be held and only in the last couple of years would she tolerate it. Always sitting on my chest, or at my hip wedged between me and the sofa when i would lie down, which was often and two sofas later, or on my feet when i sat but always on her terms.

Through out our years of illness, both mine and my husband's she was always at my side literally. She was God's familiar to me reminding me often, from moment to moment, that i was not alone in my physical pain and story. The physical pain has been gone mostly for the last 10 years but not the story and its repercussions. Kookie made it bearable and served as focus over the years of the wonder of life when i wasn't feeling it physically. 

In serving as that role she too dealt with our physical ailments, taking on cancer and thyroid and kidney concerns. She developed a cancer on the bridge of her nose that was impressing on her brain. We could all feel her hanging in there for me, sharing in our agreement to be. My skill sets were helpful for easing the way but she was on course always in her role. She worsened when I was traveling and recharging when I would come home. It got harder on her the last few years. But she was not ready to go. Perhaps i was not ready.  

The last seventeen years have seen my developing sense of Consciousness Technologies and myself as Consciousness. In the last month or so I have experienced wisdom about my body and being in my body after 61 years and clearing through layers of beliefs, mine and others. It has started to be felt as real change and knowing that I was healthy and could know it physically. Finally my intentions and expectations would seem to be free to align. My beliefs were opening in awareness.

Kookie let me know that her role was done. She no longer had to hang in there for me and us. We buried her body in the back yard this weekend. With her passing our stories will be done and laid to rest. Her spirit and love will continue to look after us.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! For your viewing and listening pleasure i am including something sent to me this morning. Enjoy! Be sure to pass it on.